Down The Black Rabbit Hole

Now I’m not an expert and I have don’t have the data but I think a big contributor to relationship  breakdown is technology. And here is the big thing technology gives us access to the outside world from our living room. So yes I’m going to point the finger at technology for creating distance between couples but just technology.

 

Now before you get worried about my relationship I can assure you it’s still going strong. However as products of our generation we use our phones a lot. From the moment the kids are down and we have cleaned up you will see us sitting next to each and from outside is looks all cute and cozy but look closer and what that in our hands, yes mobile phones. It’s a terrible habit that we gotten ourselves into and the habit we are teaching our sons. I have reasons but not excuses. Or maybe they are I don’t know I will leave that up to you to decide. My major phone use is related to blogging and social media. I write blog posts, read and comment on other blogs, join blog challenges and post photos and join discussions. That’s just the basic stuff and most of that can be done from my phone. I can be there from the kid’s bedtime to mine own and I physically have to stop myself from doing more. I have become so consumed with blogging I barely check my personal social media accounts.

 

I can’t tell you exactly what my husband does on his phone. I know he watches videos and play games and tons of other stuff I just don’t really pay attention to. Like I mentioned we are teaching this terrible habit to our sons. They see us on our phones and hover over us while we’re using them. It annoys me when I see teenagers on their phones all time especially at family functions and no they aren’t taking photos. I and my husband at least have the social grace to not be on ours when having dinner especially when out with friends and family. I bring this up because kids get phones way too early these days, (my first phone that wasn’t my Mum’s because I caught train to school was at age 16). Yes my very first personal phone I bought at age sixteen. Not eleven or twelve. My seven year old is already asking about getting a phone when he is ten. I want to answer no way in hell buddy but will I have the choice. At thirteen he will be catching a bus so he will need one but I will be holding out as long as I can.

 

I want my boys to still talk to us and when they do have phones and I will ban them at the table. Yes I know teenage boys communicate in grunts but I still want those grunts directed at me if I ask a question. So I’m starting a revolution in our household for sake of my children and my relationship in the future.

  • No phones past 9pm. Not blogging or social media browsing nothing at all. I will break this rule on Friday night when my husband can be on laptop to all hours playing D&D.
  • Rule two is the continuation of no phones at the dinner table.
  • No phones during the kids wind down time and their bed time
  • No phones while first thing in the morning (that’s just for me).
  • Date night/day though it happens rarely means no phones out. Yes we will still have them on us in case the grandparents looking after the children need us but not using them during dinner.
  • No phone use between 3pm and 4pm on weekdays. This is after school time/ snack time and homework time.

 

So there you have it. My list to stop our continuing journey down the dark rabbit hole that is technology.

Do you have any rules for phone, laptop or tablet use in your house?

Who Am I?

My identity for the past seven years has been Mum.  I know I’m more than just a mum but who am I really? I had my first son at age twenty three and they say your twenties are for finding out who you are and what you want. Now I don’t regret having Master J so young but maybe I missed that memo. I became so absorbed in my role as his mother and it is the most important role that I will play. I don’t think I knew who Kelly was before he was born. I was going through a stage of pretending to be someone I thought people wanted me to be, of whom I thought I wanted to be, someone who fitted in.

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