Step Parenting Part 1

I met Mr C when I was 24 and Master J was 18 months old. I had been single for 9 months when a friend suggested I add this guy to my Facebook friends apparently he was really funny and she thought I could do with a laugh. Our first messenger conversation went for an hour and half. I didn’t think he was funny at this point but he seemed to be nice. Asked questions about my child and seemed to have a general understanding of children. We continued these conversations over the next few weeks before I gave him my number.
We continued talking and seeing each other for a while before we considered a possible relationship. It had been  Master J and I for a while and I needed to think about how this would affect him.  This was more than just about me. How would our life alter and would Master J be happy? How would Mr C fit into our current life? Could he handle the drama I was having regarding the father? What part would he play in Master J’s life?   Would he be his friend, male role model or possibly step dad?

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Why Did A Bad Man Kill Those People?

Master J is almost six and half years old. The half is very important to him. Lately hes paying more attention to the news. We don’t make it a point to watch the news I find it very depressing myself but it does come on after The Chase which we watch most afternoons. Instead of changing the channel right away I have left it on in the background. I’m a big believer in answering questions my children ask me to the best of my ability and not lying to them but keeping it age appropriate for Master J has been difficult for me lately.

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Paper Or Technology Planners

I have a Samsung A3 mobile phone. It’s my life line to the outside world. Not only do I use it for phone calls, text, photos and social media, I have recently started using Google Calendar. I have a lot of appointments or events to remember having two young boys plus my own appointments. I hate over booking and all the calls that go along with fixing this.

I have a paper planner. I put it on my Christmas list and received this beautiful planner from my future in laws from The Last Diary Company. It has everything I need.

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My Anxiety Story

I don’t remember a time before I had anxiety. I know there must have been a time in my childhood when I wasn’t but it was probably very early on as I was also an anxious child.

Extreme worry has been a huge part of my life. If I have nothing to worry about I will find something to worry about without meaning to. I don’t know what I would do if I had nothing to worry about or if that is even possible What do I worry about? First my children. I always worry when I go to bed at night when my anxiety is at its highest, I worry whether the windows are shut in their rooms. Is the back gate locked. Is Master Ts sheet up too high. Has Master J put his head under the pillows again. If someone breaks in my children would be kidnapped. I could write more on my night time worries but it would be another page or so.

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Letter to My firstborn

This is the letter to my first born son. The things I wish I could say and that I know he is too young to understand.


Dear firstborn son,

I wanted to apologize for things we have gone through in the past six years. I want to explain why some of these things happened. First I want to apologize for having no idea what I was doing when you were born. I had prepared myself the best way I knew how, I read every baby book and asked so many questions and yet I still had no idea. I hate to admit it but I winged a lot of your first year. I hoped for the best. Had I messed you up?
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